There Are Some Serious Weirdos Out There

Man there are some real psychos out there in the world. I'm starting to think that if those are my options I'm perfectly happy being single. I recently created a profile on ANOTHER fabulous (read sarcastically) dating website because I was feeling particularly lonely (read depressed.) But because I refused to pay for this one I snuck my email address in there so people who were really interested could email me directly. I wasn't really concerned as this is one of a bajillion email addresses I have and never use so if I psycho started to email me like crazy, well who cares, I'll just close the account, no harm, no foul. The account doesn't have my name on it and there is no traceability.

This one guy started to email me and since he didn't have a profile on any dating site I asked important questions such as how old he is and what he does for a living and his answers were:
I'm 5'8", athletic build
Decent looking and in great health.
Look and feel about 30 although I'm older.
Never married, no kids.
Great Job, fun car, and nice house which I am cleaning up and trying to 'remodel' for lack of a better term.

I followed up with:
"I agree, it is hard to get to know someone over email, but I have to be honest. I'm really picky, I know what I want, attracted to, and inspired by. I also am very busy and I don't want to waste my time, or yours if I know we just aren't going to hit it off. So, that being said, you may look or feel 30 but how old are you actually. And what exactly is this "great job"? "

his reply:
"How old are you?If my age is going to be of some big consequence, then you're probably not the type of person that I'm looking for. If you're looking for the same things that I am then the age should not matter. What should matter is that I'm loyal, faithful, and devoted to the ones that I love. As far as my job... I am the Logistics Coordinator for the Fishkill office of a company called ASML. We provide photo lithography machines and service for IBM.Just call me, let's talk, we can see where it goes from there.Later,Jon"

I didn't respond at all at this point as he seemed shifty. I ask you a direct question and you don't answer that makes me think you hiding something. A few days go by and I totally forget about him. That is until today.

I get another email from this weirdo, and he is totally insulting me:
"You know... I find very it very interesting how we set up our respective realities. Here I am looking for all the positives and potential reasons of why something might be able to work while you're looking for negatives and flaws for why it can't work. At least I can go home at the end of the night and look in the mirror and sincerely say that I was genuine, up front, and myself. Can you?Good Luck in your search,Jon"

WTF?? So I say:
"First of all, how dare you? You don't know me from Adam, who do you think you are judging me like this?

Secondly, how can you claim that you are upfront and yourself? I asked you several times how old you are and you refused to answer the question. Does that sound as if you are honest and forthcoming? For all I know you could be 80 and I'm sorry, but at 28, I'm just not attracted to men who are 80 years old. I am also not attracted to men who want to play headgames and not admit to how old they actually are, for example.

I was 100% completely honest with you. I told you I live a very busy lifestyle and didn't want to waste your time or mine if you weren't what I wanted in life. I am picky, I am independent and I am bitchy. This I completely admit, but I also admit to being fulfilled, happy and inspired in life.

I wish you luck in finding Ms. Right. I'll give you a piece of advice. Don't take it so personally when someone isn't interested. "

I was pretty sure this would be the last time I heard from this guy. Thank goodness that was over with. HA HA, yeah right, here comes another email back from him, get ready, it's a long one:
"Wow, quite the nerve I struck here. First off, who's judging? I just call like I see it and feel it Nextly, who's the one playing games here? You can't even reply with your name? You're making an issue of my age and my 'great job'. I'm sorry, sounded very condescending to me. If you must know, I'm 42. But really, what does that matter? I have a very good sense of self, know what I have to offer, exactly what I want, and where I want to get to in life. But to be discounted without even taking the effort to meet and seeing if there is chemistry, that's just plain foolish. But obviously you have the crystal ball that I don't, the one that tells you if there is chemistyr or not before you meet the person. Sorry, i'm not sure how else to take it but personal. And lastly, who's the one that's out there looking? If your time is so scarce, I find it bizarre that you're even looking online. And then when someone of substance comes along, you just brush it off. I was perfectly content in waiting patiently when a dear friend of mine thought she found somebody of substance, somebody that I could connect with, and possibly make a life with. But instead of answering and being curious about my intelligence, generosity, passion at everything that I do, the love and devotion that I may have to offer, or even wondering what it might be like to look into my eyes and find out if you could get lost or not, you chose to dwell on my age (which you only asked once, NOT several times, unless of course I was supposed assume you were asking me this when you wanted to know about me) and whether my job might even be worthy of your lifestyle. Really, Veronica (not your name, but I have to call you something, and I dreamed it up), a person's age or job (generally speaking) should have NOTHING to do with whether or not they could make a potential partner. Once you learn this, perhaps you will meet that person that can be your 2nd half. In the meantime, i'm content on waiting. And by the way, if you haven't noticed, I have asked nothing about you other than your name and age so far. So it's pretty plain to see who really is interested in getting to know the 'person'.

I do however appreciate your concern and advice and I will evaluate the taking it personal part, working on it if need be. I apologize if you felt judged, but I felt judged too.

Peace,
Jon, FYI - I'm free after work till about 7:30, if you can squeeze me in your terribly busy schedule, it might be interesting to talk.
897-4891 so you don't have to search for it. "

Me:
"Man are you kidding me? You think I'm shallow. I think your dishonest. Lose my email address. Do you seriously think I'm going to call you after this email exchange? Get over it. Dude, I never gave you my name because there are STALKERS out there. I don't have a poor attitude on life, I'm realistic, and I think your naive and warped. "

Help me.

I Like Horsies

Yesterday's theme was: Horses. Everywhere you went it was all about horses. Well for me, as I work for a tack shop and do love horses in general this is most days, but it was true for the typical layfolk as well.

First Barbaro died. Which is really rather sad. A lot of people sort of think, who cares, it's just a horse. But this horse really did strive to do his best and went though a seriously debilitating injury. Can you imagine running full speed and one of your legs just splintering, and yet you continue to run on just one leg? This in and of itself is a feat. Barbaro also holds a place in my heart because I can play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon to him.

Step 1. Me, I work for

Step 2. My boss who is friends with

Step 3. Michael Matz who is a world famous show jumper and trainer of

Step 4. Barbaro

Ok, so it's only 4 steps. RIP Barbaro.

Then after Barbaro's death made front page news I came across these promotional photos for the London premier of Equus. Is this not the hottest thing you have ever seen? A strapping young lad with a beautiful horse. Holy googgly moogglies.

Wait, was it that you say? That's Harry Potter in that picture? Who cares, he's HOTTT now!

There is always a little good in evil

Am I the only person in the world that thinks refried beans look and smell like dog food? Why must they be so damn good for you, and make Mexican food so damn fabulous?

To Each Their Own

I recently had to order new checks, and because I'm creative and expressive I refuse to get those boring blue checks you get from the bank. Yes, I would prefer to spend twice as much to have fun checks. Anyway.... not really part of the story. So when my checks arrived they came with a packet of flyers for really cheezy products, you know the kind; the only people who actually buy are those who need the companionship of the customer service agent on the phone. I flipped through them, hell why not, there is a 1 in a bajillion chance there is an offer for a potentially exciting product in there. Ron Popeil is my hero after all.

I came across one which seemed just as normally mediocre as all the rest, an offer for a set of the world's greatest books:












Not that I had any intentions what so ever of purchasing these "greatest" book but I was slightly curios. Hm, i wondered what they were considering to be the best books of the world and that you could get for the low low price of only $1.95 each! So I unfolded the flyer to learn more:
























HOLY CRAP! What is that giant doing to those books? WTF? Oh...wait...did I skip over that extremely important word, Miniature? Yes, apparently I did.

I then also came across an add for Credit Counselin! I wonder what this says about the correlation between illiteracy and irresponsible credit.

I often wonder what Olivia does all day. Does she get on the computer and talk to other dogs on dogster.com? Does she turn on Animal Planet? Does she brainstorm new and fabulous ways to get up onto the kitchen table only to forget she's afraid to get down so she will remain up there whining until I pick her up and place her safely on the floor again? My curiousity is hightening even more when I get home and am greeted by the sound of hair dryer, which I most certainly did not leave on.

How Rumors Get Started

Jerry: "Do you think they got an offer on the store"

Me: "I don't know, why?"

Jerry: "He only bought four cases of water, he usually gets eight"

Me: "This is how we are judging things now? It's going to take at least three months to close even if he did"

Jerry: "It's like the old Jewish conondrum...Pork....On Sale"

Looking for A Jeff Goldblum To My Laverne

Something went terribly awry last night at trivia. Our normal world was replaced with a Bizzar-o world in which we end up very close to last and I cry in front of Boy #7.

We played a really good game, we held our own, but there must have been some really smart people in the bar last night because we ended up coming in 7th place. Yes, you read that correctly, 7th! Our reign at 2nd ended in a defeating 7th. But that's ok because three glasses of wine in and I was still answering all the music questions correctly, I am actually really proud of myself, pat on the back for me thanks. And for all who doubt me on my team, yes, John Adrosnik's (or how every you spell his last name) stage name that was inspired by hockey is Five For Fighting! Go me!

While three glasses of wine might not inhibit the ability to play trivia it does inhibit the ability to keep potentially inappropriate feelings to oneself. I've been pretty confused about Boy #7 lately. Maybe its just that I'm feeling really lonely lately and putting a lot of pressure on myself to find a boyfriend, maybe I do potentially like him, maybe I'm just a little horny. I just don't know. Either way all of this ended up spilling out over text. I admited to being jealous of all these other girls he is dating. I ended up stopping at his apartment on the way home, we hugged for about five minutes, we had no discussion, I cried then went home.

All Hail Simon Cowell

It was a mere two days ago when I almost wrote a post about the atrocity that has taken over the world known better as American Idol. I'm an avid reader of MSNBC.com, generally my best source for national and world news. I was appalled to see a huge (well huge in terms of home page real estate) section on American Idol. Is this what is happening to the state of affairs in the world and the low brow attention span of the American people that we consider the new season of this talent show to be front page news? I was seriously ready to drop my loyalty to this site and find a new, better, less cheezafied driven new source.

And then there was last night...

I got home from the gym, took a shower, made dinner and attempted to drive my eyes out with a stake due to this headache I've been nursing for a full week now. (That's a-whole-nother story, I'm starting to think I have brain worms.) I sat down in front of the TV, grabbed my Sudoko book and my remote and Olivia curled up in my lap. I was settled in for a typical night in of watching Law and Order or some other crime drama followed by the exciting new addition to Wednesday night TV, The Soprano's on A&E. Alas, I never did find L&O because I was dazzled by the shiny, sparkly object/ entertainment we call American Idol.

I honestly do not remember the last time I laughed so hard. Who knew that the crime upon our entertainment known as American Idol could actually be so good. Of course I have no real intentions of watching AI once there are only people who can actually sing left on the show, but for now, when poor poor folk who THINK they can sing are gracing my TV, you can find me in front of the mind numbing goodness we call FOX.

Good Bye, I Won't Miss You

I have plans today. They are very exciting, so exciting in fact that you should hear all about them before it even happens...wait for it...wait for it... I'm going to start ripping up my hideous linoleum today. I'm really excited about it. I've been looking forward to it all week. But I'm insanely frightened at the same time. Basically why I procrastinated until today to do when I very easily could have started yesterday. Actually it's not so much that I'm excited about ripping up the linoleum as I am excited about tiling instead. But alas this insanely scary step is the first one towards beautiful new floors. Wish me luck.

Oh, and PS the boy on match who wanted to know what kind of book I would be decided that we don't' click and wants to just be friends. HA HA, apparently he didn't' like my answer. That's just fine, I don't need to write a college entrance essay to find a new bf.

I'd prefer to be erotica

I've been talking to this one guy at Match lately. He seems pretty nice, and we have good email convo. That is until today. I'm reading through his long email because as we get to know each other we have a lot of topics to discuss. Then I get all the way to the end and I am posed with the following question:

"If you were a book of 50 pages, what type would you be,(thriller, classic, novel, sci-fi, travel, etc.,) and what page would people read up to in one sitting? Would you be a best seller, new edition, old original-whatever? "

a) Who asks such a question? If you were to meet a guy in a bar you wouldn't ask him this intense book question. I think there should a be a rule about Internet dating. If you wouldn't do it in the real world, don't do it on the Internet. Actually that's a good rule of thumb for everything, not just dating.

b) How on earth do you answer that without the obvious answer of auto-biography?

c) How do I not laugh at this poor guy in regards to this ridiculous inquiry?

11 Days and Counting

11 days into the new year and so much has been going on. I feel like I am on the cusp of a significant change in my life, which is good, because it's been a long time coming.

After the Bear situation officially ended before it officially began I decided to try match.com again. I had met the Ex through eharmony and while that didn't work out, there doesn't really seem to be much incentive for me to stay off of the Internet. I mean, my friends are amazing, I love them, but no one is really bringing any new meat to the table so to speak. I'm stagnated in our clique with no new potential men coming in. No news yet, I'll certainly let you know when something happens worth blogging about.

Work has also been a sincere bane on my existence. The bosses officially announced that they are selling the company which always allows for lots of turmoil. But more so, based on things I can not discuss, there is distinct possibility that my position is in grave jeopardy. And then there was last Friday, the day I finally pulled together the balls to ask for the raise which was laid out for me two years ago when I was hired. Even after the bosses specifically saying that it was business as usual until there is any definitive answer on the sale of the company I was turned down flat. Not only did I not get the 10K I was expecting, I got nothing at all. The search must begin in earnest now. I have been half heatedly looking for a new job for a while now, but nothing too serious. It is time to focus.

My sister had the baby on Saturday. The Prince of Kickball has entered the world, and let me tell you, he is a cutie. I always forget how little they start out. Since I see Bug and Bee so often it never seems like they are really growing, but man, they used to be tiny. Prince wasn't so small in terms of babies, weighing in somewhere around 8 pounds but, he's smaller then a sack of flour, but much more cuddly.

Even though my sister was home by Monday afternoon I decided to take a couple of extra days off of work. I was much too livid to deal with my job after the decanting of the raise. I claimed my sister only went into labor on Sunday evening and played hookie until today. I enjoyed a couple of days browsing for tile for my kitchen, relaxing in the quietness of the mid-day gym, and catching up on sleep, because well, you just don't get a lot of it when you get to share your three year old niece's bed for two nights.