Yesterday I came back from lunch and checked my cell. I saw an old friends name pop up on my missed calls and I already knew what he would say on the message.
His mother had died.
She was a neighbor, lived four houses up the road and while P and I didn’t get to see each other as much as we should, our lives were still connected. My father does a lot of excavation work for his family so we stay connected. A few weeks ago my father had gotten the word that the doctors decided there was nothing left for them to do for P’s mother’s breast cancer.
My cranky mood instantly changed with the new perspective. The simple frustrations of a lack of communication in the company and annoyances of people not trusting my opinions were nothing in comparison to what P is dealing with right now.
I spent my hour commute last night and this morning reminiscing about P and his mother. We were great friends through school, living only four houses away from each other.
Riding on the pedals of my bike down his dirt, pot-holed driveway.
Playing Manhunt between the trees on their Christmas tree farm.
Getting my mother’s car stuck in the driveway of another neighbor and drinking hot chocolate at their kitchen table while all the boys tried to get it out of the snow, while still wearing their ice skates.
Dying my hair with kool-aid in their bathroom sink. (I wonder if she would have given me the hot chocolate if she knew I was the one who probably stained everything in her master bathroom with my kool-aid)
Practically breaking my tail bone on the back of their quad.
Getting as drunk as a skunk for the first time at P’s bonfire party.
I don’t really have a conclusion to this post. The words are failing me right now. Hopefully I will find something before I see her family at the funeral. I guess just a simple “she will be missed” is really all there is to say.
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8 comments:
I totally feel you on this. Dealt with similar feelings last week. It's good to know you remember the good times and how she made you feel.
there just aren't words. words are just the stuff you mumble before you hug and cry. that's all. it's the hugging and crying that matters.
There never really is anything to say in these situations. The only comfort you can find comes from your memories or the person.
I've always found it strange when a friends parent dies. Almost like it's shocking even when it shouldn't be.
There's a line from a movie or book or something -- I can never remember which one, and Google fails me in this case -- 'Why do people die?' 'To make life more important.' I think you expressed that well here. I'm sorry for you and your friend's loss, but I hope there is some comfort to be found in it.
Maybe no conclusion for the post is fitting... I'm sorry for this loss hun. It always scares me when I hear someone has died from breast cancer, as several family members of my own have had it. All we can hope for is a cure, some day, somehow.
Sometimes there is no good conclusion, it's just time that brings closure. I'm sorry for the loss, but glad you have so many good memories of his mother.
Sorry about your friends loss :(
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